Archive for July, 2008

The Most Pretentious Concert of All Time?

Monday, July 7th, 2008

As reported in The Guardian Music Blog

“ORGAN2/ASLSP As Slow aS Possible“, a 4.07 metre-long score which would stretch to an estimated 47,000 kilometres in its elongated form, originally took a mere 29 minutes and 15 seconds to perform when it was premiered in 1987. Believe it or not, it has become one of the most talked about events of the German cultural calendar. The weekend’s change to C4-A flat4 which happened at precisely 3.33pm, attracted about 1,000 spectators including Cage fans.

The church has been forced to erect a Perspex sound barrier outside after complaints from neighbours who say the tone which plays uninterrupted until the next change, was hard to bear. There have been periods of silence - for instance an 18-month pause until February 5 2003 - which came as a welcome relief to some.

Those who missed the latest event may journey to Halberstadt on November 4 2008, when a further tone change is to sound. And in several years’ time, one note will sound for 58 years without a break - organ specialists will be on hand to ensure the organ is robust enough to handle the strain.

When I first read this, my reaction was that this sounded like something out of the late Douglas Adams’ Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. It would be the sort of thing all the rage in the Pseud cluster. Probably the Syrian Cybernetics Corporation customer complaints line would play it while you were kept on hold.

But apparently this is for real…

This is clearly deeply symbolic of man’s struggle against the fact that the avant-garde has a terminal case of cranio-rectal insertion syndrome.

Update: One blogger seems to be taking exception to what I’ve said, and considers me a philistine.

I reject the idea that only an elite priesthood of anointed critics are allowed to comment on any work of art. I have as much right to question the validity of Cage’s 600+ year long piece as a Guardian hack scribbler has the right to dismiss a generic indie band.

When an artist who produces something inherently ridiculous, nobody should be surprised when it becomes the subject of ridicule.

Fudge Points - An Actual Play Example

Thursday, July 3rd, 2008

One of the things I’ve been wondering when running message games using FUDGE is what do you do about Fudge points. The platonic ideal of message gaming is not to make any out-of-character references to game mechanics. I’m trying to come up with some code phrases which can be invoked in-character to enable a player to say “I’m spending a Fudge Point on this action” without explicitly saying “I’m spending a Fudge Point”.

But sometimes it’s pretty clear. In this example, Hollis, a powerful psychokinetic, has been taken prisoner. This is completely unedited game transcript; Hollis’s words and actions are written by Nicki Jett, one of my best players, and the scene setting and Guruinath’s lines are mine.

Hollis aches all over; when she slowly comes round, she’s in a windowless room with featureless grey walls; if there’s a door, it must be somewhere behind her. She’s sitting in an uncomfortable wooden chair, and appears to be restrained by leather straps.

Facing her are three kandar males. Two of them look like standard-issue Karazthan security goons. The man standing between radiates an aura of being someone of importance, a handsome middle-aged kandar of aristocratic bearing, with piercing mauve eyes. The expression on his face cannot possibly be described as friendly.

“Human, you have some explaining to do”, he says, “You were captured while engaged in hostile acts against Karazthan security who were engaged in lawful activity”.

“You have now been positively identified as the human who attacked our security team on the West Side, causing serious injuries to one, and the death of a member of Guild of Victuallers”.

“Can you give an explanation of your actions. Starting with the most important question. Who are you working for?”

“Of course,” Hollis said. “I represent the Legion — actually, the Fifth Legion, and in particular Tavonoleyr Kolath Polyn d’n Miralath a’r Surene. I have been retained as an advisor on human affairs and a guide to the human quarter, and I also serve as an errand girl when needed. In that capacity, I go where he says -”

** well, not exclusively, but that is merely a semantic issue.**

“- I investigate what he wishes investigated, and I question those he suggests. However, when I am in the middle of one of these investigations, and some people *try to kill me,* like your victualler, I regretfully must defend myself.

“In the case you cited most recently, I was concerned for my employer’s safety, and I was making an effort to reduce the tension without anyone getting killed in the process. I was trying to maintain a low profile and defuse what I saw as a volatile situation.”

She glanced around the room, taking in the nature of the restraints and the positioning of the interrogators, and noting the presence or absence of edged weapons. SHe is evaluating how quickly she could get them unbuckled mentally, or slice through them if she “borrowed” a blade from one of the interrogators, and how many times she would have to bash heads together to take them all out.

The proximity and security of the exit came under consideration as well.

As Hollis’ head clears, she realises the identity of her interrogator - it’s Guruinath Zadaz, the Karazthan head of security. The man Kolath believes to be a traitor to the city.

“Ah, Kolath d’n Miralath”, he says sarcastically, “The loose canon himself. Who’s never been quite right in the head since he had a nasty blow to the head. Probably leaving him vulnerable to mind-control from a human wizard with an agenda all her own”.

“Now, tell me who you’re *really* working for. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way”.

Hollis scans the room; the two Men in Black have lightning wands at their belts, but don’t appear to have any swords or knives on their person. Hollis senses that there’s a fourth person in the room somewhere behind her that she can’t see.

“Where’s my belt pack? I have some things in there for you to see that might make things clearer.”

“Answer my questions first”, says Guruinath.

Hollis considers her options. She probably has the mental strength to break the leather straps, but will probably injure her wrists in the process. She can’t loosen the straps without being able to see how they’re attached.

Seizing the lightning wands, then aiming and firing them would require a lot of finesse, and her forte is brute force.

She scans the part of the room she can see for any suitable objects to start throwing around. The only thing she can see is what looks like a waste bin in the corner - it’s made of basket-weave stuff rather than anything solid, so probably weighs next to nothing.

One thing she does notice is that the whole room does appear to be swaying slightly. This might just be Hollis’ still being a bit groggy.

Hollis decided that the wavery effect could also mean this was not real. MAybe it was a dream, or something similar. No reason to get too goofy. She could always bash two of them together, or seize the lightning rods and use them like clubs.

“Afraid there’s nothing left to say, since I an a simple girl and doing a simple job helping the Legion. IF you try to get rough, though, I am not going to sit still for it.”

“I like a girl with spirit”, he says, getting the timing sufficiently wrong that the joke falls rather flat. “Now, you really expect me to believe that. Kolath’s a flake, and you know it. You’re using him. Now tell me who you’re really working for, and we won’t need to start using Devices”.

The room is definitely swaying. Hollis is sure it’s not just her imagination.

“Be-HAVE,” Hollis said, shaing her head and opening and closing her eyes rapidly to try and diminish the swaying effect. “I’m not working for anybody else.

“And stand still and quit swaying, would you? You’re making me nauseous. Here, let me help … ”

She reached out with her mind and seized the two on each side of Guruinath, trying to smash their heads together at the place where Guruinath’s head was located.

It would be like smacking three melons together. Hard.

Leaving her with one to deal with, if things worked out …

Hollis concentrates….

…and nothing happens. Apart from what feels like someone driving red-hot nails into her skull.

“11.4!”, says a female voice from behind her. “Unit’s only rated for 14! She’s strong”.

Guruiniath gives the owner of the voice a black look.

Hollis made the immediate segué, being analyzed, being managed, being held down by a machine with a limit.

One she bet she could blow out the top.

She concentrated, tightened up her mind, put everything she had into defeating this thing and grabbing *someone* in the vicinity, preferably Guruiniath …

Emergency, threat to her brother, threat to Kolath, death of her parents, she used them all for motivation, to kick it up to a power level she’d never achieved before.

Let’s see what their machine could handle …

I think Hollis’ player is pretty unambiguously saying “I’m spending a Fudge Point here…

It’s scenes like this that make message game RPGing so worthwhile.

SFX Book Meme, Part 3 (66-34)

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008

Next part of the SFX Book Meme

66. Harry Harrison
Another of those prolific authors of whom I’ve only read a few possibly atypical books - The darkly satirical “Bill the Galactic Hero” is of course the other necessary counter to Heinlein’s “Starship Troopers”.

63. Dan Simmons
Only read SF, rather than his horror, but you can still tell he started out as a horror writer. Some genuinely far-out ideas.

59. Stephen Baxter
See #66. Only novel of his I’ve read is the H.G.Wells homage, The Time Ships. Fine Victorian romp, but no idea whether that’s typical of his work or not.

56. C.J. Cherryh
I’ve read quite a lot of her novels over the years; just about everything is pretty solid old-school space opera. If you play Traveller, you’re probably already a Cherryh fan.

52. J.G. Ballard
“Crash”. It’s completely sick. Never read anything else of his.

49. H.P. Lovecraft
Iä! Iä! Squamous and rugose! Technically his work is dark, twisted science-fiction rather than horror, although he’s been hugely influential in the horror genre. Despite his god-awful prose style a lot of his stories are still very powerful; especially the way he didn’t base his horrific entities on any real-world mythology, but made up his own myths.

48. Mervyn Peake
I read the first two Gormenghast books many years ago, but never got round to reading the third. When the BBC adapted it for TV, half the characters reminded me of gamer friends of mine. Not sure what that says.

45. Neal Stephenson
I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve read by him, but I do get the feeling that some of his recent books are too long by a third, and could have done with a more aggressive editor. Favourite is “The Diamond Age”, although nothing much can top that opening chapter from “Snow Crash”.

41. Kurt Vonnegut
The only book I’ve read of his is “Slaughterhouse 5″.

39. Michael Moorcock
I’ve read a lot of his self-confessed trashy throwaway sword-and-sorcery novels, some of which are better than books written over the course of a single weekend have any right to be. I really ought to read some of his more serious ‘literary’ works.

38. David Eddings
The epitome of hack. The sort of interminable and interchangeable fantasy sagas churned out by him and others has been dubbed “Extruded Fantasy Product”.

36. Orson Scott Card
Quite enjoyed “Ender’s Game” and read a couple of other books of his, nothing special.

35. Stephen Donaldson
Angst! Doubt! Self-loathing! Thesaurus Swallowing! Actually, forget the Thomas Covenant sagas, and read “Mordant’s Need” instead, it’s actually quite good.

34. Gene Wolfe
At his best, no author can touch him. I can’t think of any other author whose best work (The Book of the New Sun) I’ve read four times. At his best he can create alien worlds so vivid, he actually takes you there. Sometimes he can be frustrating, in that everything you read is from the viewpoint of his first-person narrator, and when that character has no idea what’s going on, neither should the reader.